If anyone wants to talk to me, stay connected, stuff like that, this is my personal tumblr. →


I’d be very happy to connect with anyone who has followed me and has enjoyed following me, even if you’ve never talked to me. <3

1 April 2013 ♥ 2
If anyone wants to talk to me, stay connected, stuff like that, this is my personal tumblr. →

I’d be very happy to connect with anyone who has followed me and has enjoyed following me, even if you’ve never talked to me. <3

1 April 2013 ♥ 2

i never thought i would ever fuck up this badly.. this has happened before though. i’ve lost rp partners for being like this.


korynn warthen has become like a sister i never had… and someone i’ve look up to since we met. she’s the sweetest, loving, protective… i just loved her so much i never ever wanna let go..

when we first met here, through that stupid magic anon that made jack a cat and omni’s bruce asked her to change, as i read her reply and every reply after that… i heard raven. i heard raven in everything she did and said.

and i will strike down anyone who thinks otherwise.

when we got to our first big rp, with her going into jack’s mind, i just threw my ALL into it… i just wanted so much to IMPRESS korynn. this amazing writer.

Which is why i’ve always tried to help her when she’s felt like no one else would rp with her. i made posts saying HEY talk to her! If you’re following me, you better!

I’ve only wanted to help.. always. because she’s always been here to help me.

She freakin sent me a box of awesome stufff. candy, a giant plush kitty that i’ve snuggled with many a night.. a beautiful charm of that character Velvet from Odin Sphere, the video game Tales of Legendia that I wanted so much to play with her, even if just connected through skype, AND the lovely picture she got from an artist at a con, of our Raven and Joker together. Freakin framed and everything. It’s sitting on the side of my tv.

She gave me all this.. me. And she’s always stood up for me and our pairing. ALWAYS. even when I was gone for so long and she was alone…

This woman.. is so fucking amazing and brave and strong.

..And she won’t believe a single word of this…

not from me..

Because… I guess I just went too far..? I worried too much? She wouldn’t speak to me and I panicked and I pleaded.. because… I just felt so alone still… and I just wanted to communicate… after being gone so long..

i live in a pretty crappy town, pretty isolated.. and a lot of people my age… have been able to move on, find work, find the right college.. get out of this ghost town.

and i haven’t yet.. and so i’ve looked to the internet to make friends… and the small amount of friends i’ve made… I just… I want to hold on to for dear life. i want to savor everything we’ve done. EVERYTHING..

and now, after suffering through no internet for a couple months, and no contact with close friends, and then finding out how sick i’ve been too.. i just.. i guess i’m just clinging even MORE and so scared…

my worst fears coming true„„

one of my closest friends leaving. me screwing up everything.

and now i’m just sitting here constantly asking…

what the hell do i need to do to show this woman she matters so much to me??? HOW CAN I MAKE UP FOR THIS?? I WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET BACK ALL THAT WE”VE DONE.

She says she hates her character… but I know… i know quite a few like me who DO like her Raven. How she’s grown and changed to be her own unique Raven..

How her Raven has helped my Joker change and grow as well..

How we’ve ALL changed and all have evolved… how EVERYTHING has evolved from that… VERY FIRST time we met..

With just some silly cracky magic anon stuff..

And what I hope to get through.. is that I want to learn from my mistake..

I didn’t mean to pressure.. I didn’t mean to make her feel this way… I would never want that. NEVER EVER.

And I just want her to know it DOESN’T HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS!

If someone feels they hate a characters position… it shouldn’t mean they should just… GIVE UP EVERYTHING THEY’VE DONE WITH THIS WONDERFUL CHARACTER!

And she’s sad so many times that she loves her. She defended her. She defended THIS.. and I just can’t believe she’d just.. do this…

Do any of you out there.. feel this way? Do you guys see where I’m coming from??

Please.. please I beg that you help… I don’t want to lose this…

I promise, Korynn, I will do my best to be more respectful, more patient, to not boss you around or to nag or whatever else it is i’ve done.. please… you have to know.. somewhere in you you HAVE TO KNOW I didn’t MEAN to do this.. I love you and care for you with all my heart… and I want to be able to connect with you again.. somehow… please… a part of me is just empty without you in my LIFE..

And I’m VERY sure, similarly, your Raven you’ve created over time, is also a part of me… and I’m sure THERE ARE OTHERS OUT THERE WHO FEEL THAT WAY TOO.

And I hope they will let you know that.

And I plead that you will not leave.. please…


Don’t leave everything you’ve done on darkmeditation just as if it “doeasn’t exist”.

Because it sure as hell does.

From every moment you’ve had with random people in your askbox, to every cracky, silly moment that came up.. Your tangoes with KF and our constant interactions with the Titans, even Robin despite the undercurrent of sadness and loathing and feels… your adventures with Marvin… our journey through discovering these other sides to our characters through their strange love and the things they went through to keep it. The crazy plots of their other selves. The GORE/SEX. REMEMBER DISCUSSING THAT. SENDNG ME THE CONVOS YOU HAD WITH FRIENDS DURING SCHOOL ABOUT THE PLOT.

The hard times when hate anons would try to bash everything we did, but we just came back with sassy and awesome replies..

The proposal that made us both squeal and cry as if it were real.. and the wedding that was just as emotional and awesome..



All of this.. all. of. this.

Why would anyone just want to throw it away?

If I’ve really messed up that bad… if you truly HATE it that much and just want to toss away ALL of that…

I.. I just don’t believe you.

And I hope others feel the same..




1 April 2013 ♥ 3

Anonymous said:  Hey, I want you to know I watched her video and I read your reply and I cried for you both. :( I have been so jealous of you two because you are such good writers together! And thinking about it, that is hard to come by on Tumblr, isn't it? :) So I wish for the best to you both. Please work this out. I know you can!

(( Thank you.. I agree, it is hard to come by. Beyond Korynn, it’s hard to RP with other people. And I have other accounts, although they aren’t as awesome characters as Joker. It’s a ganderbent Harley and well.. an OC, I guess, of Jack’s mom. |D; Anyway.. you’re right. And that’s why I’ve felt so awful for being how I have been recently since I came back.. so yeah. Thank you again for the support. <33 ))

30 March 2013

Anonymous said:  I can't bring myself to watch the videos but I want to hug you both forever...

i wasn’t sure if i should answer this.. in a way i want to.. i do thank you personally for the support.. but i hope you watch her video..ok?

29 March 2013

Before I even started this video I knew what it was about.. Before I even heard one word, I knew

And I don’t know if whatever I say will get through, I don’t know if you believe me anymore..

those months i was gone.. I was unable to be here.. against my will.. I knew things would happen.. I knew it would screw things up..

but I wanted so much to come back right when I could

I had so much on my mind.. so much..

I am so entirely sorry.. with all my heart.. with everything.. I am… for pressuring you.. for forcing you.. You told me right when i came back that your muse was gone, and I understood but… but I didn’t think it would escalate to this.. I didn’t think I would do this… I didn’t think.

I didn’t think

I am sorry for not thinking things through, and not understanding fully what needed to be done or how things needed to go..

I was a wreck when I came back, from everything that’s happened to me, and in my mind I had thought as I’d been able to log back in: I can’t WAIT to see what I’ve missed, RP with Korynn, make up for missed time, and get away from all this horrible shit!

That’s all i thought about.. that’s all I wanted.. it was a constant mantra in my head.. and I naturally thought… you would feel similar when I showed up again.. I didn’t see any of this coming…

I didn’t KNOW what would happen after coming back, but i only thought about what I hoped happened..

How could anyone see?

And then things did escalate when you tried the roach game.. I knew right away that I had gone too far when I’d snapped… I had snapped. I was too emotional.. I will say right here and right now, I will admit my stupidity and my ignorant move of snapping when I felt stupidly jealous and stupidly emotional…

I couldn’t RP the roach game with you.. I couldn’t do anything WITH that.. so I’d FELT very left out.. RIGHT when I’d returned. My closest RP partner was starting something cool with others and I couldn’t join in. I had no means with no microphone and such.

AND I made an idiot of myself right away by making it seem like it was wrong for you to do that… It wasn’t. i know it wasn’t. You deserved a way to RP in some way.. this brilliant idea to do it through that game. You totally had a good thing

And I realized that and I.. I tried to get through to you that I was so sorry for that.. I truly am and I always will be.. I wanted to do something.. to show you I was.. to make up for it..

I wanted maybe to draw the characters everyone was playing. I dunno, i thought maybe that could be my way to help.. to be a part of it some way and also show I DO totally support it

I guess at that point, though.. it was too late.. you were too upset and you don’t believe me now when I tell you I would do anything to make it up to you..

Korynn.. you are.. my CLOSEST friend on here.. I know this.. from how I remember how we instantly clicked as we started talking together.. how we loved each others ideas and the crazy crack that we came up with together in our first RPs…

Those things… those memories I will cherish forever no matter what happens…

I opened up to you right away. I shared with you so much of my personal life.. of the shit I was dealing with.. and you shared yours and we felt connected through that

And I never thought that being away for a couple months would do damage completely to it… or at least not so much that we couldn’t somehow pick up everything again..

I never thought I would ever make a mistake.. such a big like this… I would hurt YOU and make you hate the Raven that you’ve progressed into… You never gave any inclination of disliking the things we were doing and going to do and how it changed her..

She was a mother.. and Raven and Jack were going to raise this baby.. this wild cracky child… and maybe another in the futre

And I thought you LOVED that as much as I did. and I never thought in a million years you would ever hate it.. no matter WHAT happened..

I don’t want you to hate it… I don’t want this, I don’t want YOU, Korynn, to feel this way at all. No. it only makes me feel the same too..

I don’t want to pressure you. I don’t want to force you. I don’t want to be  ANYTHING bad.

You are an amazing person to me, Korynn. You ARE. You have helped me in so many ways… and the way you handle things… how tough you are.. how brave you are.. when you want to be… I LOVE that.

I look up to you. I truly do. I may be technically older than you but no way in hell do I feel like it. I have been amazed by your ways of dealing with shit and I’ve always just felt.. so.. just… Wow I could NEVER survive the things she goes through I think all the time.

And the fact that despite all of that shit you deal with.. you managed to try and RP with me as long as you have.. and build up this amazing stuff that we have… you just amazed me… It ALL just amazes me when I think of how far we’ve come…

And yet it comes to this… and your feelings now.. towards this.

I don’t know what to do with Jack either.. I don’t hate him… I just wanted so much to wait.. to try and wait for you…or to try and help you somehow get Raven back.. I dunno how, through little things, maybe.. thats what I’d hoped for when you first told me when I came back that your muse was gone

But then I made my mistake of freaking out stupidly to the roach game… god, I am so sorry for that… forever sorry for being like that. I AM.

I hope that you’ll believe me… I hope you’ll somehow.. believe that I don’t want to be your enemy… I am beating myself up everytime I think about it..

So I want you to do WHATEVER you want.. Korynn I only want the best for the person I’ve come to love and to look up to..

And if that means starting over… if that means stopping all of this and never going back… then alright.

I’ll admit I don’t WANT it… I love your Raven like I’ve said, you know I care so much for everything we’ve done… and I looked forward to whatever came in the future..

But I know it won’t happen the way we had wanted it to happen if you do feel this way and continue to feel this way

I don’t want that either. I really don’t. Please, I hope you believe me, Korynn…

I’m saying I hope you believe me because I don’t know anymore… after all… You won’t talk to me.. you haven’t tried to talk to me or tell me anything so I didn’t KNOW anything for sure until you put this video up.

So I’m here, trying to express what I feel and think about all this…

I want to beat myself up… I want to find any way I CAN to HELP you.. to help make things better.. like how a “Tumblr spouse” should… an RP partner… just a FRIEND..

I want to because no matter how you feel… I will care about you.. I will consider you my close friend no matter if you even hate my guts now.

I hope you don’t, but again I don’t know… you won’t TELL ME directly ANYTHING lately.. and it only made me worry and paranoid and even more emotional… I was in the dark

But now I know. now I’ve seen this.

And again I say…

I want. Whatever. You want.

Do whatever you want to do Korynn.

I will understand.

No matter how much I am hurting because I’ve loved every single moment together and hoped so much for more..

I will not be cross.. I will never be cross with YOU…

If you wish to move on… I will bow to you and move on as well.

Maybe I’ll.. I dunno… leave this tumblr as an archive and start a new one.

Whatever it comes down to.. my only hope is that you BELIEVE everything I am saying here… because I mean it all.. and I’ll always mean it.

In fact I wish SO MUCH I could make a video as well.. saying these things.. I just want so much for you to BELIEVE me..

But… I guess.. if you don’t… If you’ve become cross and truly don’t want to talk to me again.. or forgive me for the fuck up I made when i came back by stupidly pressuring you and snapping at you… I’ll understand… I know you might hold a grudge… I never thought it would happen to ME but if it has… I understand.

I definitely will not blame you for it.

I can’t think of much more to say… if you think I’ve missed a point in this after readng this… I guess I’m sorry once again…

I am not the best at this, because I never though this would happen… but I definitely dont want it to continue

So just.. do whatever you truly, truly want to do Korynn.

That’s all there is to it.

Thats what I want now.

I love you and care about you SO MUCH no matter what, Korynn… even if you don’t believe that…Even if despite ALL that we’ve done together you read this and don’t believe a single word… I will still care and because I do.. I will understand and just.. let it be… let it go. I have to, I guess because I don’t know how else to get through..

I’m sorry, I wish I could do more, I wish I could help fix this and help you love your wonderful character, your own version of Raven that has grown and changed and was going to be a wonderful, amazing mother.. and I thought there’d be amazing things to happen between mother and child… and just… all around I thought we both felt that way…

But if not… if there never will be… if nothing can change how you feel now… I will understand that too and let it be.. and , as I said, I’ll leave this Jack Napier.. as an archive…

Because no way in hell will I want to do anything on here without you. This… this is ours. This is all what we created.. and if we can’t slowly fix this and have to move on… I will move on too.. and not add a single thing to this.. I HOPE YOU BELIEVE IN ME AND KNOW THAT I WILL NEVER EVER DO AN RP WITH SOMEONE ELSE AS IF NOTHING EVER HAPPENED.

No. You have to believe that I am loyal. Right? You KNOW I am, Korynn. I will never do things like that.

In fact, if I have to move on from this account… I may not “move on” right away at all… I may simply just stay on my personal.. and just.. I don’t even know… I can’t think about it right now at all…

but in the front of my mind is making sure you know I understand.


29 March 2013 ♥ 7


What if spiders hide in the dark because they’re really self conscious.

Like what if every time you scream at a spider and run away, you tear down its self-esteem more.

29 March 2013 ♥ 26


I’ve grown into a habit of staying to watch the credits and stay in theaters until the very end—when the projector is turned off. I was happy I stayed until the bitter end of Wreck It Ralph, and discovered a half-glitched Disney logo in the final seconds of the reel. I recognized it as the split-screen glitch from Pacman, a very genuine homage to the games the movie was modeled after.

Here’s some background on the glitch for those that don’t know, courtesy of Wikipedia:

Pac-Man was designed to have no ending – as long as the player keeps at least one life, he or she should be able to play the game indefinitely. However, a bug keeps this from happening: Normally, no more than seven fruit are displayed at the bottom of the screen at any given time. But when the internal level counter, which is stored in a single byte (8 bits), reaches 255, the subroutine that draws the fruit erroneously “rolls over” this number to zero, causing it to try to draw 256 fruit instead of the usual seven. This corrupts the bottom of the screen and the entire right half of the maze with seemingly random symbols, making it impossible to eat enough dots to beat the level. Because this effectively ends the game, this “split-screen” level is often referred to as the “kill screen”. Emulators and code analysis have revealed what would happen should this 255th level be cleared: The fruit and intermissions would restart at level 1 conditions, but the enemies would retain their higher speed and invulnerability to power pellets from the higher stages.

A very nice touch.

29 March 2013 ♥ 103962
A weird thing I find incredibly helpful for art/writing.


Eplans.com is a website that sells blueprints for houses. 

This might not seem that helpful but if you want a characters house you can make selections based on what sort of house you want them to live in. 


Then browse through the results and find the house you want. Then you can view the blueprints and have a room layout for that house, which can help with visualising the space they live in. 


It makes describing generic homes so much easier.

((SUTJDRYFTU I am SO gonna use this one day… one day in RP AND one day in the Sims. Yes. <3))

29 March 2013 ♥ 74660
1:  What are you wearing?
2:  Ever been in love?
3:  Ever had a terrible breakup?
4:  How tall are you?
5:  How much do you weigh?
6:  Any tattoos do you want?
7:  Any piercings that you want?
8:  OTP?
9:  Favorite Show?
10:  Favorite bands?
11:  Something you miss?
12:  Favorite song?
13:  How old are you?
14:  Zodiac sign?
15:  Hair Color?
16:  Favorite Quote?
17:  Favorite singer?
18:  Favorite color?
19:  Loud music or soft?
20:  Where do you go when you're sad?
21:  How long does it take you to shower?
22:  How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
23:  Ever been in a physical fight?
24:  Turn on?
25:  Turn off?
26:  The reason I joined Tumblr?
27:  Fears?
28:  Last thing that made you cry?
29:  Last time you cried?
30:  Meaning behind your url
31:  Last book you read?
32:  Last song you listened to?
33:  Last show you watched?
34:  Last person you talked to?
35:  The relationship between you and the person you last texted?
36:  Favorite food?
37:  Place you want to visit?
38:  Last place you were?
39:  Do you have a crush?
40:  Last time you kissed someone?
41:  Last time you were insulted and what was it?
42:  What color underwear are you wearing?
43:  What color shirt are you wearing?
44:  What color bottoms are you wearing?
45:  Wearing any bracelets?
46:  Last sport you played?
47:  Last song you sang?
48:  Last prank call you remember doing?
49:  Last time you hung out with anyone?
50:  Favorite movie?
28 March 2013 ♥ 85

I made a new version of my silly walks clock! I updated the graphics a bit, and used a clock as base. You might possibly, maybe, perhaps, at some point in the future, find this version for sale in an Etsy shop. Keep an eye out just in case you don’t feel like making it yourself :). You can find the tutorial for the original here: http://sillywalkclock.blogspot.se/


I made a new version of my silly walks clock! I updated the graphics a bit, and used a clock as base. You might possibly, maybe, perhaps, at some point in the future, find this version for sale in an Etsy shop. Keep an eye out just in case you don’t feel like making it yourself :). You can find the tutorial for the original here: http://sillywalkclock.blogspot.se/

28 March 2013 ♥ 289
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